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The Judean Riders Front


Strictly for Goofy riders ONLY!

Congratulations! And welcome to the Judean Rider Front (the J.R.F. for short).

Now I won?t bore you to death with the details, because at heart we are a simple, fun-loving organisation with a fantastic heritage, but simply speaking all members duties include the following:

1. Continuing to ride with our proud, brave, honourable right leg forwards.
Now, as put down in the minutes of the first J.R.F meeting minutes it was raised (by the militant cleric faction N.S.G - the No Switch Group) that switch or fakie riders should be summarily dismissed from the organisation. However, after being put to a vote, and after calming the militant wing down with some hot tea and a dark-chocolate digestive (some of the N.S.G have milk allergies), it has been decided that we can ride switch (a maximum allowance of 3 hours per day, which is perhaps better simplified with the ratio 3:1 for switch riding). However, anymore switch riding more than that may be considered a spy, probably having been sent from those f**king splitters ?The Riders Front of Judea?.

2. Hating the French.
In this all our duties include generally, and with frank and brazen nonchalance, hating the French. What have they ever done for us? I mean yes, they might have built ski resorts, yes they invented wine, yup, their trains run on time, ok we admit they have some lovely mountains, their streets are safe to roam at night, they have embraced snowboarding and have the best terrain to ride in the world but really, what have they done for us? In this you will be expected to sneer at artex walls, laugh at the suggestion of drinking tea out of a bowl, show your two fingers to Gendarmes at any available opportunity, tilt your head back and say ?ho-he-ho-he-ha? when you?re talking to a Frenchman and they talk too fast, point and laugh whenever you see a ?French Puncture? (a shrug of the shoulders and a pouted ?phhhhhhhh? from a Frenchman, as if he?s deflating), take marmite everywhere you go, refuse point-blank to accept Lipton Yellow Breakfast Tea and make a triangle with your fingers whilst mouthing the word ?Tetley Pyramid?, make horse noises whenever a hamburger arrives in a caf鬠point and laugh at shit-small dogs, throw snowballs at men with moustaches and in every respect show the damned French their place.

3. Try at every available opportunity to cause annoyance to our sworn enemy ? The Rider?s Front of Judea.
If there?s anything we hate more than the French it?s those f**king splitters The Rider?s Front of Judea. Look at them riding with their weasel-like left leg forwards. Who do they think they are? 'hhhccccchh Tchp! I spit on their club. In this our duties include baiting them about their horrible, weasely, conniving left-leg riding style, and trying at every available opportunity to remove their bindings and put them on the correct way.

4. Honorary Members.
When you join The Judean Riders Front you are pledging aliegance to a mighty organisation with a deep, rich, heritage.
Honorary members include:

International

Jamie Lynn, Axel Pauporte, Josh Dirksen, Temple Cummins, Kevin Young, Travis Rice, Jason Brown, Jeremy Jones, Victoria Jealouse, Mike Basich, Brian Savard, Daniel Franck, Noah Salasnek, Damien Sanders, Jim Rippey, Gigi Ruf, JP Soldberg, Steve Gruber, Wille Yli- Luoma and many, many others.

Brits

Danny Wheeler, Chris Moran, Steve Bailey, Stuart Brass, Jonny Barr, Ewan Wallace, Jenny Jones, Duncan Worrell, Scott Nixon, Jamie Nichols, Ryan Davis, James Thorne, Sam Cullum, Tim Warwood, and many, many others.

Our surf-arm includes

Mark Occhilupo, Rob Machado, and the man who started it all ? Duke Kahanamoku.

Pledge your allegiance, you know it makes sense.

Sign in, click on "Your Account" and then "Edit your information"; and simply enter "g".

Read about how the Judeans became...