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The Judean Riders Front
Strictly for Goofy riders ONLY!
Congratulations! And welcome to the Judean Rider Front (the J.R.F. for short).
Now I won?t bore you to death with the details, because at heart we are a simple, fun-loving organisation with a fantastic heritage, but simply speaking all members duties include the following:
1. Continuing to ride with our proud, brave, honourable right leg forwards.
Now, as put down in the minutes of the first J.R.F meeting minutes it was raised
(by the militant cleric faction N.S.G - the No Switch Group) that switch or
fakie riders should be summarily dismissed from the organisation. However, after
being put to a vote, and after calming the militant wing down with some hot
tea and a dark-chocolate digestive (some of the N.S.G have milk allergies),
it has been decided that we can ride switch (a maximum allowance of 3 hours
per day, which is perhaps better simplified with the ratio 3:1 for switch riding).
However, anymore switch riding more than that may be considered a spy, probably
having been sent from those f**king splitters ?The Riders Front of Judea?.
2. Hating the French.
In this all our duties include generally, and with frank and brazen nonchalance,
hating the French. What have they ever done for us? I mean yes, they might have
built ski resorts, yes they invented wine, yup, their trains run on time, ok
we admit they have some lovely mountains, their streets are safe to roam at
night, they have embraced snowboarding and have the best terrain to ride in
the world but really, what have they done for us? In this you will be expected
to sneer at artex walls, laugh at the suggestion of drinking tea out of a bowl,
show your two fingers to Gendarmes at any available opportunity, tilt your head
back and say ?ho-he-ho-he-ha? when you?re talking to a Frenchman and they talk
too fast, point and laugh whenever you see a ?French Puncture? (a shrug of the
shoulders and a pouted ?phhhhhhhh? from a Frenchman, as if he?s deflating),
take marmite everywhere you go, refuse point-blank to accept Lipton Yellow Breakfast Tea
and make a triangle with your fingers whilst mouthing the word ?Tetley Pyramid?,
make horse noises whenever a hamburger arrives in a café¬ point and laugh at
shit-small dogs, throw snowballs at men with moustaches and in every respect
show the damned French their place.
3. Try at every available opportunity to cause annoyance to our sworn enemy
? The Rider?s Front of Judea.
If there?s anything we hate more than the French it?s those f**king splitters
The Rider?s Front of Judea. Look at them riding with their weasel-like left
leg forwards. Who do they think they are? 'hhhccccchh Tchp! I spit on their club. In this our duties include baiting them about their horrible, weasely,
conniving left-leg riding style, and trying at every available opportunity to
remove their bindings and put them on the correct way.
4. Honorary Members.
When you join The Judean Riders Front you are pledging aliegance to a mighty
organisation with a deep, rich, heritage.
Honorary members include:
International
Jamie Lynn, Axel Pauporte, Josh Dirksen, Temple Cummins, Kevin Young, Travis Rice, Jason Brown, Jeremy Jones, Victoria Jealouse, Mike Basich, Brian Savard, Daniel Franck, Noah Salasnek, Damien Sanders, Jim Rippey, Gigi Ruf, JP Soldberg, Steve Gruber, Wille Yli- Luoma and many, many others.
Brits
Danny Wheeler, Chris Moran, Steve Bailey, Stuart Brass, Jonny Barr, Ewan Wallace, Jenny Jones, Duncan Worrell, Scott
Nixon, Jamie Nichols, Ryan Davis, James Thorne, Sam Cullum, Tim Warwood, and many, many others.
Our surf-arm includes
Mark Occhilupo, Rob Machado, and the man who started it all ? Duke Kahanamoku.
Pledge your allegiance, you know it makes sense.
Sign in, click on "Your
Account" and then "Edit your information"; and simply enter "g".
Read about how the Judeans became...
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